A state of emptiness…

The emptiness we feel every now and then, when we feel so much stuck at some level in life, the wheel of progress stops as if something hinders its motion and you don’t know what is wrong with you, you seemed so enthusiastic about getting your everyday to do list done at first but now you just can’t do it,you are empty and you’re getting low on energy, you can no longer focus your energies, every day is the same as the day before , and even though you know your life is being wasted on nothing but staring at the ceiling.. you remain still.

feeling empty is just like when you remove a cake from its mold and eat it, and the mold remains there all alone feeling lonely after you striped it from its cake. when I feel empty I lose the desire for doing anything even the stuff I adore, I don’t feel like running,not even drawing and I never know what is wrong with me. so I decided to search for solutions and I kept trying every possible one and here is what worked for me:

Break the routine:

we all have different routines, mine was going for a run everyday, drawing, reading, doing house chores and some other stuff I don’t have to mention, everyday was just the same, and even though I feel like I fly on the wings of blissful whenever I do any of these stuff I mentioned before except for house chores of course, I feel bored sometimes. everything seems to be monotonous and boring, so I thought about breaking the routine and doing a new thing, something that would add a little bit of colors to my life so I joined a teaching organization where students themselves teach other students but first we have to go through an extensive period of training. next thing I did was running with other people and getting to know new friends on the move and changing the route whenever I have the chance. one more thing I did was listening to myself and my body and learn what I need and when do I need it, for example if I wanted to watch a good movie, I would watch a good movie, if I wanted to go to specific place I would go to that place.

We often resist the things we need:

we people often resist the things we need, sometimes when we feel down we feel like not doing anything at all and what we need seems to be what we don’t need. a friend of mine was feeling down, when we asked her to go out with us she refused saying that everything is stressing her out and she don’t feel like meeting anybody or going anywhere, and even though she didn’t go out with us thinking she will be okay if she stayed on her own, she wasn’t, she’s gone even worse because she resisted what she needed, loneliness and isolation do us no favor.

so don’t suppress you feelings, go out for a walk, watch a good movie, dance in the rain, watch the moon, look at the stars, scream like crazy, get your head out of the car’s window and feel the wind on your face, dance to your favorite song, make new friends, hug everybody, smile at everyone, join a club, do a sport, try a new thing,do whatever you think is suitable for you.

Have fun and forget all about the stress:

We have got a lot of papers to write, a lot of work to do, exams to study for, a decision to make, a future to plan for, a girl to marry, a friend you want to make up with, a mistake you want to apologize for, a flaw you want to get rid of, a friendship you want to win, an assignment you want to finish, a grade you’d love to get, a finish line you’d love to get to.. We have got a lot more in our minds than we can handle!

Sometimes we have to forget all about the important stuff for some time!

Sometimes we have to give ourselves a break !

Sometimes we need to have some fun, and get away from all the stress we have in life!

It’s not anything like being careless with your life; it’s just giving yourself a break for getting the energy you need to deal with what you face now and what to come, just like your body if you don’t provide it with the food it needs it won’t just work, so if you weren’t giving yourself the fun it needs, yourself won’t t respond as efficiently as you’d love,

so try to color your life with smiles, laughter and joy, life is worth living only if we knew how to live it.

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How to stay positive in a world full of negativity …

A lot of bad things happen all around us and we all know that being positive is just so hard. I love being positive but sometimes being positive becomes a challenge for me. I mean I look at all the tragedies, severely stressful life events and traumas and I ask myself how I can be positive in such a world!.. And there I was, looking at the news feeling so helpless. But then I thought about it for some time. Yes there a lot of bad things that happen in this world. Yes the world is really scary. Yes we can’t take it anymore. Yes it’s so hard to deal with all these tragedies and news but sometimes we have to accept things the way they are. I mean all of what is happening is following a preordained path that we have absolutely no control over so why then do we stress over things that are so much outside our control?!

Everything happens for a reason:

Studies have proved that most people derive some benefits from their negative experiences and that traumatic and stressful life events can serve as catalyst to positive changes and Studies have also shown that people who have lost their spouses or those with cancer or a disability perceive benefits from their experiences, like a change in self-perception, social relationships and life perspective. Look at this excerpt from Les Brown’s speech talking about people he know who have benefited from their negative experiences:

“There are ideas that could come to you out of things that appear to be negative.  I had a friend I met in Chicago and he was only 23 years old, this guy went financially bankrupt but he found a blessing in it. he wanted to restore his credit, it was very challenging and very difficult and he find a lot of people who are going through the same experience so he started a credit repair business and he started to earn a 100 thousand dollars helping people to restore their credit. I met a young lady and she was at her father’s funeral and she was putting flowers at her father’s grave and she looked around and saw the other grave sites and they did not look well-groomed and they were not attended on a regular basis so she started a grave site maintenance business, out of that tragedy something positive has come out”.

And there are millions of stories talking about people who have made the most out of their negative experiences and what they have come out with is much more than what they have lost! It’s all a choice after all. when somebody tries to comfort you and says that things are going to be okay, actually that doesn’t have to be necessarily true, yes things will be okay in case you let them to be so! Remember when I said that we always complain about the things we cannot control? But fortunately the only thing we can control is the way we look at them, and how we react to them.

My personal experience:

We humans go through a whole lot of negative experiences; I had times when things get so bad that I wished I had never been here to suffer that much. But things won’t stay bad forever, after all the suffering things will eventually get better and when they get better they get better in a way you have never dreamed of to the extent that you might ask God to make things get bad so that they can get better than never before… I’m confusing you, aren’t I? ^^ Here is an example; I was fat when I was young. When I decided to lose weight at first, all I ever dreamed of is getting into a good shape. But then I found out that losing weight isn’t as important as what I have learned and discovered throughout the process of losing weight. It’s like the negative experience is the bridge you use to cross to the other side of your unique life which is full of new discoveries and treasures. So if we just thought about it, we would find that a negative experience isn’t meant to knock us down but to help us get back up in a way we never dreamed of! So if I hadn’t been fat, I wouldn’t have been who I’m now, I wouldn’t have known that I am fiercely passionate about running, I wouldn’t have felt so confident, I wouldn’t have done all the things I do right now, maybe I would have never started that blog.. Who knows! And all of that and much more came out of an only one negative experience!

Watch or not to watch the news:

THE NEGATIVE PROGRAMMING, this is how Les Brown called it! News are so negative, news turn our power down. I have been quite confused about whether to watch the news or not. I don’t like watching the news but neither do I like to be unaware of what is happening around me. So I have thought about it many times and here is what I think would solve the problem:

  1. FAITH, having faith is important. Believe that things will get better. A lot of bad historical events have turned out so well and they made a difference to the world in a great way.
  2. Know that things won’t remain bad neither will they remain good. This is simply LIFE.
  3. Focus your attention on something important to you, focusing and doing something you love would make you less anxious about what is going around and all the bad news you deal with every day.
  4. I love what my friend has said to me, he said that something you dislike may have good in it. So you don’t know how everything will turn out, they might turn out so well just like too many other things did!
  5. Don’t get too focused on the bad things, make a list of the things you are grateful for and everyday recall them into your mind. Always remind yourself of the joys and love you have in your life.
  6. Turn a deaf ear to people who are trying to tell you how negative the world is, they are toxic and what they ever want is to make you as toxic as they are. I have some friends who think I’m a weirdo because I always try to be happy but neither am I weirdo nor my life is all rainbows, I’m happy because I simply choose to be, happiness is a CHOICE.
  7. Expose yourself to as many positive messages as you can, read inspiring books and watch inspiring movies.

Don’t feel guilty if you are negative:

” if you are looking to experience a life without the flow of negative emotions and positive emotions, then visit a graveyard and rest in peace” ~Dr.Gohn Gray~

Both negative and positive emotions and experiences are essential in one’s life so don’t feel guilty if you felt negative at times, this is a part of the human nature. All you have to do is letting go of your negative emotions, let them pass and go on!

People who are toxic…

You have to be aware of those you are surrounding yourself with because if they weren’t the right people then that can be an answer for why you have been feeling bad lately. when you surround yourself with people who are negative this negative energy transfers to you and spreads all over your body just like a virus and those whom I call toxic people who can pass all the negative energy, anxiety, fear, hatred over to your mind, your soul and your body and you are like a receiving station, you receive loads of negative energy without even realizing it. Toxic people find a great pleasure in doing that. When I was hearing one of Les Brown’s audios, he said that people think that you are weird if you are happy. But I think that not only do they think that you are weird but also they try with all the effort they can afford to create a grumpy version of you. They want us to become a negative copy of them. They keep telling us about how negative the world is. They always try to show us the dark side of the world. whenever I look at people faces I point out a great deal of anxiety, fear, depression, stress, anger, guilt, loads of negativity, pain and too many other negative emotions, I sometimes wonder about what is going on in their lives that can make them that angry and I keep thinking about all the possible reasons, bad things happen all the time.

“Bad things happen all the time but how we internalize them, how we react to them, is what ultimately determines their final effect on us”. That was written in an article in Psychology Today by Alex Lickerman.

That made me think that our life is just ours, that it’s our choice to be negative or not. We all have negative selves but positive people choose to be positive. So when we are around negative people we have to stay aware of whatever streams out of their mouth because what they say can sometimes be really harmful, really painful especially if they were your friends or somebody really close to you.

Then what can I do about it? The usual answer is to keep away from toxic people. But I don’t think that keeping away from them is a right thing to do, because toxic people can be anybody, they can be your best friends or they can simply be your family, you can’t keep away from your family, you can’t avoid you best friends.

How to deal with toxic people ? 

  1. I believe that the only way to deal with toxic people is to believe in yourself and in what you do and to stand for what you believe in, I mean you will get a lot of criticizing from toxic people, if you firmly believe in what you do you will never get affected by what they say.
  2. One of the things that made me able to resist all the negative energy that came my way is exposing myself to positive messages, this is a great way to kick all the negative energy out of your life, they remind you of what you are standing for and they distract the negative thoughts that may come across your mind.
  3. One more thing is to try as hard as you can to change them and don’t let them change you, don’t let their opinions, negative thoughts and their criticism take over your soul, insist on your situation, insist on being happy.
  4. Be powerful and confident in the process of doing what you want to do.
  5. Love yourself and be yourself. 

There is no easy way around…

Are you tired ? Are you feeling like giving up ? Are you feeling like quitting ? Are you fed up ? Are you screaming out loud everyday saying that you can’t take it anymore? Why do we have to go through all that suffering, all that pain ? Do you wake up everyday in the morning and stress over your endless to-do lists and the overflowing jobs that have to be done ?

Tell you something..THERE IS NO EASY WAY AROUND IT.

It’s not about luck, it’s not about talent, it’s is all about working hard and dedicating yourself to be in better every single day, there a lot of people who have started with barely any talent but because of how hard they work, they became better than those who have talents. Working hard is the first and everything else is secondary.

Most of people like to blame the surrounding environment, the system and the people around them for their behavior, and those whom Dr. Steven R covey has called the reactive people. Reactive people are the people who are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. They always say I didn’t do that because of this. They don’t take responsibility for their actions.

And I strongly agree with Les Brown when he said “It has nothing to do with the system but it has everything to do with the fact that you are not making a sacrifice”

yes we don’t make a sacrifice I want you guys to just think about it, we all want to become successful in life, we all want to achieve our dreams, we all want to be perfect and we want everybody to love us. We know what we want, it’s easy to figure it out, it’s all about taking the action now and when we think about that action we have to take and how hard it seems we just give up, yes we do and I think it’s a simple equation, it’s either you work hard and get all what you have always wanted or you choose the easy way-which you will never find-and become with those who are going through life only trying to survive.

There is something my mom has always said to me, is that human beings were created to love success, they are programmed for success and they were born to succeed. That’s why all of those who don’t like to work hard aren’t happy in their lives it’s because what they do simply goes against their nature. It’s like forcing a fish to live in the air.
So if our dreams didn’t come true, we have to know within ourselves that we didn’t work hard enough. We have to know that we could have done better. We have to know that if we ever want to achieve something, we must hunger for it and I strongly believe that human beings are phenomenal creatures. we have got limitless potential. We can control our lives. We can control our future. We can take ourselves to the place where we need to be, no one else. And those who don’t like to get tired, who deliberately chose the easy way will always find a source of tiredness, because life was made up to be like that, to be tiring.

and I want to share something with you, whether you chose to live your dream or not, to work hard or not, the life will keep playing with you, if you think that when you choose the easy way, you are getting yourself out of the game and you won’t have to deal with any kind of challenges through life then you have to know that you are completely mistaken, because the game is not over, and it will never be as long as there is breath in our nostrils. So if you want something, go get it.

For the air not to get out of the balloon…

We all have got goals,some of you have already written them down,while some others have even put plans on how to reach that goal they are keeping in the forefront of their head.

we make plans and we get them into action, and when we do so, we begin the first few days with great energy, great enthusiasm and then as the time passes and day after day  we get bored  and we start to do things with less energy and less passion, we all must have experienced those times when get really lazy doing the things that we planned for, until we give up and stop doing them at all.

a friend of mine has once asked me about whether one can be able to repeat the same routine with the same energy and enthusiasm of the first day till the last day or not, and I like what my friend has said about that, he said that we are all just like a balloon, the air gets out of it day by day.

You guys must be wondering right now about where all the passion and all the energy go after that, here are some tips that may help you get over the feeling of boredom and laziness during your routine:

  1. you have that goal in the forefront of your head, you first have to write it down, if you aren’t a fan of writing, you can make it the background of your pc, ipad, your mobile phone, so that you can always remind yourself with what you want to accomplish in life, and once you remind yourself, all the sense of boredom you have will reduce all by itself and your passion and enthusiasm will begin to flow again.
  2. whenever I feel like less enthusiastic about doing the tasks I have to do, I remind myself with the main reason for why am doing them in the first place, maybe you are doing this because of a job you want to have or a scholarship you want to get or simply because of somebody else, just keep reminding yourself with the main reason for choosing that goal, it’s like you are updating your goals, you are updating your dreams and your thoughts in your head. we people get lost in the mess of life that’s why you have to remind yourself everyday with your goals, you can take some time for yourself whenever you feel that you aren’t motivated and think about why exactly you are doing this.
  3. Do it for somebody else, that might seem really weird to you, but when we do something for somebody else we stay motivated all the time, when I had exams , there are times when I felt really bored and I felt like not studying at all but I kept thinking about my mom and how happy she would become if I got high degrees, that what kept me in the game, what kept me away from giving up.
  4. always keep in mind  that we aren’t perfect  and we will never be perfect, it’s how we were created  we have to accept this, so when you skip a day or two ,it’s okay ,it’s normal to skip days  but just keep yourself in the game ,don’t ever give up , it’s better to take days off than to give up, everything is a process. no matter how many days off you are taking, I’m telling you there will be a progress  but  the less days off you take the faster you will see results.
  5. don’t beat up on yourself, don’t punish yourself, I pointed out that the reason why most people like to punish themselves is that they think that what they do isn’t worth rewarding they keep underestimating their abilities and degrading what they do which I think is really wrong, you have to stop punishing yourself and reward yourself whenever you do something you think is good.
  6. having a partner who shares your passion will keep you going and motivated.
  7. focus on one or two goals only, those who set too many goals are less likely to achieve them.
  8. Try to know more about you and what can bring your soul back to the game. We all have goals, don’t we ? but we feel like something is holding us back, we know what that goal is and we know what it takes to achieve it but something is missing. We don’t feel like moving ahead at all. Sometimes the reason for that can be the fact that you aren’t providing yourself with what it really needs. Just like a car when it’s not getting that gas it needs it stops. try to do something that would renew your energy like going for a run or hanging out with your peers or your family.
  9. Take a break whenever you think you need one.

If you have more ideas on how to keep ourselves motivated and dynamic please feel free to comment and get involved and don’t let the air get out of the balloon ;).

Complain less and live more…

As can be seen in the way people are behaving, it’s obvious that most of what people are doing is just complaining, people like to complain about everything but they never do anything about their situation.
We find millions of reasons to complain about, when we go out we complain about the traffic, we complain about the weather, when we look at the mirror we complain about the way we look, we complain about chores, about work and we do this without even realizing it, why? Because it became a habit just like any other habit we acquire throughout our life.

when I took a closer look at my life I found out that most of what I think about, of what I talk about, of what I listen is complaining, and if I don’t find anything to complain about I might complain about the fact that I don’t know what to complain about! Yes, that bad.

We complain and complain and complain and we never take actions and when we take them… we complain.
“Life is short”, we sure know about that, but do we understand that life is really short? Do we really know that? Do we really know that because life is short we have to love more, to play more, to laugh more, to care more, to give more, to help more and to complain less!
Deep inside our hearts there is a small weak voice that is begging us to stop complaining and start living, that is trying to tell us that complaining will get us to nowhere but hell, but we look all around us and we find nothing that is worth living, we see failure, hatred, pain, misery, depression, etc …
And we turn our back to that weak voice pretending not to hear it begging us to live! And when we turn our back to that voice, the world get even more darker, more painful and we go through life only trying to survive the brutality of the world.

Let me share something with you, the world will never be perfect even if you stop complaining, there will still be traffic jams ,there will still be a boss at your work, there will still be people who are driving you crazy, there will still be a lot of chores, there will still be a bad weather, there will still be responsibilities, there will still be illness, but those who are happy in their lives don’t live in any other world than the world we are living in, they just don’t bother changing the world, but they change the way they look at it, the way we look at things has a great impact on our lives and the lives of the ones we love .

Complaining affects every aspect of our life and we have to do something about it, here are some tips that will make you complain less and live more:

  1. wake up each day and be grateful for everything that you were given, just open your eyes with a smile drawn on your face and when the alarm go off you decide to make the most out of your day, decide that you won’t complain, not anymore, be persistent.
  2. I want you to take only 5 minutes, listen to some music or something, close your eyes and watch your life right in front of you, I want you to bring your soul back to life, I want you to think about every part of your life ,about all the time you have wasted complaining and stressing over things that are so silly, I want you to think about where you are at this particular moment, the people you deal with and whether you benefit from them emotionally or not and whether your are living your life purpose or not, you are now the spectator and your life is the film and you are watching, think about your goals, about your dreams, think about what would you like to change , why are you always complaining, What are the things that you are willing to do, squeeze your mind for thoughts, I want you to think about every single thing that is bothering you badly and I want you to change it, and once you know what is it that thing that you want to change, you have to take the first step, no matter how small it is, and once you take the first very small step, the world will take a step forward too.
  3. Negative people are all around us, they are our friends, our family members they can be anybody, try to change them and if you couldn’t, don’t let them change you.
  4. make a list of the things you complain about the most and try to change them, for example if you complain about watching too much TV, try to change that! if you complain about your body shape, then you have to lose weight and make healthy choices and so on, make a change whenever you are able to, there are things that cannot really be changed like the way nature works, so take in consideration that such things cannot be changed and you have to accept them the way they are.
  5. when you have a conversation with somebody try to get away from negative subjects, especially the news.
  6. Try to live your passion, to live for something, wake up every day with energy, love and passion, when we do the things we are meant for, our lives begin to take on a meaning.
  7. Always keep in mind that you are the one who can control your life, no one else.
  8. try to take control of what you think about, thoughts can sometimes be deadly.
  9. accept who you are, the life you were given and make a change whenever you are able to.

If I can, if he can.. why can't you.